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Why is the "I Love Me" challenge so hard?

Writer's picture: Victoria WrightVictoria Wright

Updated: Mar 8, 2021

Updated 3/8/21

Yesterday through the Healing Words FB page, I invited people to join me in the "I love me" challenge. It is a simple challenge (so I thought) to write down each day one thing that I love about myself. At the end of the week, I would have 7 beautiful reasons why I love me that I can look back on when times get tough. I thought this would be a good exercise to remind myself of how amazing I truly am. So why is it so hard? Why is it so hard for me to even write that I am truly amazing? Don't we tell our children or loved ones how amazing they are, how they can do anything? So why is it so hard to say that to ourselves, even if we are using our inside voice? Conditioning, life experience, culture, and ego to name a few are why it is so hard. The little things that were said when we were young that makes you question your ability now as an adult.


I still have this voice in my head that says I cannot sing b/c I was not picked in HS to sing with the coral group. I still think I have a fat face b/c I was told that the reason I have dimples is b/c my cheeks were too fat, and they had to buckle somewhere. Granted, the people who said these things did not say it with the intention to harm me. Maybe it was a joke that I did not get, or I was too you to understand. But my ego filed it away and reminds me every time I sing or look in the mirror that I can't possibly do or be that b/c someone else said.


Culture also plays a big role. I still believe that if you keep your head down and work hard that I will be recognized. That tooting my own horn is a bad thing and that I should always be humble. As an Indigenous woman, those were the things that I saw or were told. If I showed my confidence I would hear "Oh she thinks she is all that." Well, actually I am all that and so is everyone else. It took me a long time to realize just b/c I am good at something doesn't mean that someone else can't be as good or better. We all have our talents. We are all beautiful. We all are amazing. If we can remember that more often and appreciate the gifts we have, we are better able to appreciate the gifts that others have.


Self-love helps to silence those voices. It helps to keep ego in a healthy place. The "I love me" challenge is exactly that - a challenge, but I am happily pushing myself to see my own beauty. So, I will put my reasons for loving myself out there for all to see to help me overcome ego and my personal doubts. Day 1: I love myself because I have the ability to make delicious food. Day 2: I love myself because I have a big heart. Day 3: I love myself because I provide comfort. Day 4: I love myself because I am light. Day 5: I love myself because I am willing to learn. Day 6: I love myself because I am spiritually connected. Day 7: I love myself because I believe in me. I hope my journey will help you to also discover why YOU ARE ALL THAT!

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