The Trials & Tribulations of the Unpaid Tech Help

A world filled with technology

Every year when I return to my childhood home, there is a request from my mother or her husband to help with some kind of technology issue. They admit to being technology challenged but over the years their negative visceral reaction to learning new technology has been growing. Normally, I serve as tech support but this year my son is old enough to take over the reins. In all candor, having this role can be challenging. After one difficult tech help session that was filled with frustration from both parties, I had to ask myself why? Why do they hate technology so much and why are older people less curious? I know I just made a gross over generalization, but it felt like if only they had more curiosity or a desire to learn they wouldn’t get so aggravated and hate something that can help to make their lives easier. Plus, I wanted to understand this for myself so as I age, I keep staying curious.  

Our family is small but spans five distinct generations. My mother and her husband belong to the Silent Generation (born 1925–1945), known for their strong work ethic, preference for stability and conformity, and self-sacrifice. My brother and his wife are part of the Baby Boomer Generation (born 1946–1964), characterized by their goal-oriented mindset, pursuit of personal fulfillment, and advocacy for change and equality. My partner and I are from Generation X (born 1965–1980). We’re known for our independence, emphasis on work-life balance, appreciation for diversity, and desire for continuous learning. My niece and nephew are Millennials (born 1981–1996), a generation recognized for being entrepreneurial, eager to learn, collaborative, well-educated, and socially active. The youngest in our family is our son, a member of Generation Z (born 1997–2012). Gen Z is ambitious, politically and socially conscious, racially and ethnically diverse, and true digital natives.

Comparing each family member based upon their generational characteristics, it’s a wonder how we actually get along. But seriously, when I think of my mother and her husband, it is no wonder why they have no patience and are easily frustrated by technology. For that generation, their major technological advancements were radio, television and the birth of the computer. From their childhood to now technology has advanced at an unprecedented rate. Innovations that once took decades now emerge in just a few years. If it can’t be done now, it is just a matter of time when it can be. Each one of our generations has witnessed dramatic leaps in capability and connectivity. For some this is an exciting time, but for others it can be challenging and even fearful time. The belief “it’s too late” starts to creep into their mind turning an aversion into an impenetrable block.

As many of us do, I asked Google. Why do older people lose their curiosity. I was given four primary reasons.  1) Relying on what is known vs seeking new information helps older people make faster and more confident decisions based on accumulated experience. 2) Age can lower dopamine the neurotransmitter tied to reward and novelty seeking. This can make new experiences feel less stimulating or rewarding, leading to a lower desire to explore new things or ways of thinking. 3) Stability and familiarity are preferred over the unknown that is associated with curiosity. 4) Curiosity takes mental effort and the working memory, attention, and processing speeds decline with age making learning feel more taxing.

So, what does this all mean? To me, it means things aren’t always what they seem. My earlier overgeneralization was proven to be just that. There are so many variables that make technology a daunting experience for older people—from the beliefs and limitations shaped by their upbringing to the mental and physical changes that come with age. All of these factors influence how they engage with technology. This exploration has opened my eyes and deepened my understanding of their perspective, which I hope will lead to greater patience from both me and my son when offering tech support. However, my original inquiry did raise an important point: a willingness to learn and a sense of curiosity can help overcome many of these challenges. The longer we can stay curious, the longer we can stay connected, adaptable, and mentally sharp in an ever-evolving digital world.