To honor the women who spoke belief into us before we could speak it ourselves.

Woman holding tulips and a card.

May is a beautiful month. Spring has sprung, flowers are in bloom and the weather is warming up. As you may know, I speak often about limiting beliefs and the things that hold us back in life. But what about the beliefs that empower us, propel us to new heights. When I think of these beliefs, I think of how my mother has been an instrumental part of my positive mindset and can-do attitude. In this month’s inspirational reminder, I would like to celebrate mothers and caregivers and their impact on our mindset and self-esteem.

From early infancy to age five is when children’s self-esteem is established. Unconditional love, encouraging independence and providing positive examples sets a child’s self-image. The more secure, loved and capable a child feels the greater their confidence.  And of course, the less secure a child feels, the less confident they may become.

From all accounts my early days were amazing. Family, friends, animals, lots of love and encouragement. My parents were go-getters. Did what they said they would do. My mother stayed at home with my older brother and I, while my dad worked in various capacities. Salesman in a men’s clothing store, carpenter. Then when we moved from Jersey (Dad’s home) to Martha’s Vineyard (Mom’s home) my parents became restaurant owners and scalloped in the off season. I learned early the lessons of having a strong work ethic. My foundation was solid.    

It wasn’t until my parents’ marriage fell apart that my self-esteem and mindset were tested. The love that once lived in our house changed. The family gatherings were less, and the stress increased. When dad moved back to Jersey there was a lot of strain on all our relationships. Added to that I was going through puberty and everything that I thought I knew was blown up. That was a difficult time but watching my mother turn things around revitalized my belief in myself. She always encouraged me to follow my dreams. And through that encouragement I studied abroad, traveled the world, lived on both coasts as well as got my business and law degree and now I am a professional speaker, writer and mentor.  

The good times were good, but I feel it was the difficult times that truly made me understand how much my mother shaped my outlook and confidence.

As you move through life, there will be times when a belief will appear that helps you grow or keeps you safe. That belief was probably introduced to you as a small child. You grew up with it, having it reinforced and now it is something that is part of your identity. When that belief shows up today it’s an echo of what was modeled for you a long time ago.

Behind so many of the beliefs we carry, both the limiting ones and the ones that lift us, there is often a mother, or a mother figure, who helped shape how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible. Some gave us safety, encouragement, and a sense of “I can.” Others, knowingly or not, showed us what we needed to overcome. Either way, they left an imprint.

This month is a chance to recognize that imprint. To acknowledge the resilience, we witnessed in them and now carry forward. To consciously choose which beliefs we continue to live by.

To the mothers, the caregivers, and maternal figures, who helped shape our mindset and self-esteem, thank you. And to the rest of us may we carry that voice forward, strengthening the beliefs that empower us, letting go of the beliefs that limit us, and becoming the example for the next generation.  Happy Mother’s Day.