A Little Discernment Goes a Long Way

Decisions - go left of go right

Recently, I was almost scammed.

Last September, I applied to have my company name - Healing Words Creations -trademarked. If you’ve never been through that process, it can take a long time. A few days ago, I received an email that appeared to be from the United States Patent and Trademark Office, stating there were issues with my application and that I needed to respond to the attorney assigned to my case.

At the time, I was preparing for a speech competition that would take place in just a couple of hours. My mind was distracted, but the email felt important, so I reached out. Long story short, the perpetrator was very good - polished, detailed, and convincing. He walked me through the USPTO website and showed me a page outlining additional charges. I knew the fee structure had recently changed, so that alone didn’t raise red flags.

What caught my attention was the fact that additional fees had to be paid immediately for the application process to continue.

The conversation took longer than expected and I needed to leave for my competition. I told him to send me the information and that I would respond as soon as I was available. As I stepped away, something didn’t feel right. After further investigation, I confirmed it was a scam.

I remembered the warning signs we are often told to watch for: check the email address, notice the sense of urgency, be cautious if payment is requested over the phone. Looking back, I can see the signs were there. I noticed them, but for some reason, they didn’t trigger the STOP reaction.

Why is that?

I can openly share this story because I didn’t get scammed this time. But I wasn’t so lucky last year. In a completely different situation, I fell prey to scammers and lost money. What surprised me most wasn’t just the loss, but the shame. I didn’t want to tell anyone because I felt I should have known better. Strangely enough I felt more embarrassed than anger, more “yucky” than cheated.

I know I’m a trusting person, but I found myself asking: what’s happening? Have I lost my sense of discernment?

In both situations, my judgment was overshadowed by emotion, either desire or fear. Scammers are experts at exploiting emotional states. When we want something desperately or feel scared enough, it becomes harder to hear the warning signals. And yes, there are always warning signs. We just don’t always register them in the moment.

This doesn’t only happen with scams. It happens in everyday life. You may not encounter a fraudster, but you might fall head over heels for someone and overlook signs that you’re not truly compatible. Or maybe it’s a slow month, you need clients, and you say yes to work that asks you to compromise your values. When emotions take the driver’s seat, missteps are more likely to happen.

That’s where discernment comes in - the ability to judge well.

When we step back from a situation and create space between ourselves and the emotion, we can assess what’s really going on. Detachment is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. Small gestures can help like taking a few deep breaths to ground yourself, stepping out of the room to change your energy, sitting in quiet, or simply giving yourself time before responding.

I wish I had done that the first time I was scammed. But I did learn the lesson the second time around. Life has a way of presenting similar situations until we learn to respond differently - and I trust that if it happens again, I’ll recognize it much sooner.

Emotions are the body’s barometer. They are powerful, informative, and often protective, but they were never meant to be the sole decision-makers. When we learn to pause, breathe, and create space between what we feel and what we do, discernment has room to speak.

The goal isn’t to shut emotions down; it’s to listen without letting them take the wheel. With practice, we learn to trust ourselves again - not because we’ll never make mistakes, but because we know how to slow down, check in, and choose wisely. And that kind of discernment is a skill we can strengthen every single day.