Limiting Beliefs Are Normal
- Victoria Wright
- Aug 6
- 3 min read
My life was altered dramatically in 2017. What I thought I knew fell apart, and I realized I’d been pretending without even knowing it. Since that time, I have become acutely aware of the beliefs that have kept me from doing and being more in life. Limiting beliefs, like worthiness and not being enough have kept me in a box and ultimately became part of my identity. Now that I acknowledge these beliefs, I am focusing on unwinding and replacing them with more empowering ones, and I want to help others do the same.
The feedback that I receive when I discuss this topic with others is mixed. People are either open to the subject or not. Most push back is centered around not wanting to talk about “failure” or I receive an uncomfortable smile and nod then am steered to a different discussion. Why does talking about limiting beliefs have such a stigma associated with it? This is a question that I have been pondering for some time.
I think it is important to understand exactly what a limiting belief is and where it comes from. A limiting belief is self-sabotaging or negative self-talk that restricts potential and blocks achievement. Ultimately, they are stories we tell ourselves that limit or hold us back. Many times, these beliefs are formed early in life. From the age of birth to five years old, the brain develops at a faster rate than in later years. Experiences during this time have had a lasting impact on development. Of course, learning still occurs with age but at a slower rate. So, the beliefs taught by parents, other relatives or the environment during those first five years have a profound impact on current beliefs. Then add into the mix cultural, societal, and religious beliefs, as well as trauma and life’s difficulties, it becomes fertile ground for these beliefs to take root and grow.
The impacts of these beliefs include lower self-esteem, self-made roadblocks to achieving goals, inability or difficulty in building relationships, as well as overall well-being to include anxiety, negative emotions, and stress. It's surprising that something with such a powerful effect on our everyday lives isn't talked about more often.
The primary reason I believe this is a taboo topic is the fear of being vulnerable. To admit to having fears, doubts or insecurities goes against our confidence culture. Ultimately, no one wants to be perceived as “weak.” Another reason is challenges to personal identity. A child who hears they’re not smart will likely grow up believing it’s true. As horrible of a thought that may be, the child is comfortable believing because that is all they know. To have that belief challenged means their identity is being questioned as well as it implies personal responsibility for change. It is always easier to blame external factors than look inward. Self-awareness is a difficult process many people do not want to embark upon thus they choose to believe that all is well exactly how it is. In the end, limiting beliefs threatens the illusion of control, competence, and certainty and that is a very uncomfortable place for anyone to be in.
How can talking about limiting belief be normalized? By recognizing that everyone has them and they are not our fault. They are experiences that have made an imprint on our psyche. They are the stories we tell ourselves. But like any story, they can be rewritten. Remember vulnerability is our truth as well as our strength. It embraces our imperfections and is a courageous act of self-revelation. By normalizing limiting beliefs, the impact or negativity is lessened allowing for change. It’s time to live a limit*less life. And the first step is to acknowledge limiting beliefs are normal.
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