Healing Starts Where Hiding Ends

Woman hiding behind a curtain

Being visible can feel daunting and scary when you don’t fit the norm or feel like you stand out. Maybe it’s because you live an alternative lifestyle, hold different beliefs, or simply look different from the people around you (too much melanin or not enough). In situations like that, the safer option is often to make yourself small, conform, or disappear into the background.

Why does it feel safer? Because you are less likely to be noticed. It’s like standing against the wall at a school dance. You can see everything happening around you while keeping your back protected. You notice who is approaching before they get too close. Most people may not even notice you’re there, or they may have forgotten about you altogether.

For Neepa Irving, the main character in The Quiet Butterfly, that feeling was constant. Because she was different, Neepa was continually targeted by bullies, ultimately causing her to retreat into the shadows for safety. As adults, it may not be school bullies that make us retreat, but the bully that lives in our own head. Under the guise of protection, our inner critic tells us we are not worthy or good enough to be seen or take up space.

What many don’t realize is that it requires an enormous amount of energy to play small. It requires energy to be the person you think you are supposed to be. It takes energy to constantly stay on guard for danger whether perceived or real. What if people see me? What if they don’t like me or what I said? What if I am judged or rejected?

Throughout the periods of my life when I felt like an outsider, there was a constant undercurrent of stress. A low-grade fear that something bad was going to happen. Knowing what I know now, I was actually out of alignment with my true self. I was not living authentically.

The three pillars of alignment are:

Mind: aligning thoughts with your core truth instead of societal pressure.

Body: listening to how your body processes stress, emotions, and energy.

Spirit: staying connected to your deeper purpose and sense of self.

It takes courage to live authentically and in alignment. To be okay with being seen. Not everyone is going to like it. Some people may feel uncomfortable because you are no longer the person they have always known. But remember, authenticity and alignment are not for their comfort, they are for your happiness and peace.

It is easy to move in and out of alignment. Some days are better than others. But when you focus on living a life that is true to you, alignment comes more naturally and hiding no longer feels necessary. We are all meant to take up space in our own way, and we all have the right to be seen.

How do you move from being out of alignment to being in alignment? Baby steps. Challenge yourself to step into spaces where you can be seen. Wear a brighter color. Share your opinion. By being visible as your authentic self actually heals you. It quiets the inner critic and proves to yourself that you can be seen for who you are and the world doesn’t end.

The moment you move away from the wall and allow yourself to be seen is the moment you open the door to alignment and living your life authentically.